I think as much as people try to understand one another we can never fully achieve that. Each individual is different, like a clock we all tick differently. Going through all of our own trials and tribulations we go through things other people couldn’t possibly understand.

We as people go through life at different paces. Because of this we learn to deal with things in our own unique ways and for some, they don’t learn to deal at all. 

Some people expect a road map to life. They expect those around them to take their hand and guide them through all the bumps in the road making the path a bit smoother to follow. What they don’t realize is that not only do we make our own paths, but that the person leading us will eventually let go. They will eventually go on to pursue their own dreams, leaving us behind.

I’m the one that was lead through life by the hand. Now that I’m on my own, I’m stuck….stuck at the crossroads of life. Which path I will go down I’m unsure of, which frightens me so much. I want to take the road full of life experiences and adventure, but I’m just not sure how to go about it. I guess I will just have to find out.

Yes, I admit it, I am a hopeless romantic. Many find it only as a hopeless dream, to find that one person that will do anything for you, to have a timeless love story. I on the other hand do not find this hopeless. I find that way of thinking as giving up, settling for what you think is the best you can get. It’s like letting all your past let downs crush your spirits causing your hopes to lower. Thinking “this is as good as it gets.”

I refuse to settle or to ever hope in finding that special someone. Just call me stubborn.

Now, it may seem like I’ve set the bar high for all men out there. This is surely not the case. In fact, I don’t ask for much. I’m just looking for that special guy that looks at you like you’re the only woman in the world for him. You know, the look that he gives you and your heart can’t help but to beat faster. And personally, I’m a very stubborn girl and have my fair share of meltdowns. I can’t have someone treating me like I’m stupid, and I don’t want someone to baby me. I want that one special someone that will grab me and say “stop it” and just embrace me and kiss me so I shut up. These things may sound cliche, but when it happens to you, they’re the most amazing moments ever and they don’t seem be so cliche anymore.

“You know what’s wrong with you Miss whoever you are? You’re chicken, you’ve got no guts. You’re afraid to stick out your chin and say okay, life’s a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong with each other. Because that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness. You call yourself a free spirit, a wild thing, and you’re terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you’re already in that cage; you built it yourself. And it’s not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It’s wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.” – Breakfast at Tiffany’s

While watching that well known scene in Breakfast At Tiffany’s I couldn’t help but think, how do you know when to draw the line of finally letting down your walls. Those walls that keep you from fully letting your heart trust, those walls of fear and doubt. I can’t help but wonder how everyone deals with situations like these. I mean, these walls aren’t necessarily bad; but if you keep them up for too long they can ruin all that’s going well. Eventually you’ll question your significant other’s intentions, their sincerity…pretty much be in doubt throughout the entire relationship. But how do you know if their words are true? Sometimes you get so caught up in the words, the feeling of it all and you can’t separate the fantasy from reality. Everything turns into sugar coated dreaming, and when those try to snap you back into reality you get defensive and majority of the time very unrealistic. How do you know the barriers between being too doubtful and too unrealistic?

I’m not quite sure of the answer to this myself,  but one day when I know the answer I will share it to all that care to know. So as of now I guess this will…be continued.

Joday :] 11:04 am
(11:04:28 AM):     What do eyes mean?

I just love when people are stupid about people online. I mean, I have certainly had my moments, but none nearly has naive as this.

Person: So, can I webcam with you?
Rapist: Uhhh, I don’t have a webcam at the moment, it got broken.
Person: Oh that’s unfortunate, well I should call you sometime.
Rapist: Oh, umm, about that…just so happens I don’t have a phone at the moment either. 
Person: Awww, that’s too bad.
Rapist: Give me your address, I should see you sometime. I like you a lot, and I’d love to date you
Person: OK!!

Yeah cause that picture they sent you is legit cause there’s only one of them…and they most likely got that off of photobucket.

SO DUMB XD  

I’m so frustrated with people lately. They either always want something from me, or they’re questioning me. I’m so aggravated to the point of wanting to explode.

My parents for example….
You don’t have to question me all the time, or tell me how to do things. I’ve been on this Earth almost nineteen years now, I’m pretty sure I am capable of remembering to turn off the light in the basement..especially sense I have never forgotten. You don’t have to lecture me every mother fucking day on how “you could get brainwashed by your classmates or professors.” First of all where is your faith in me? You always assume I’m going to fall into this stupid bullshit. High school is the prime years of getting brainwashed. If I survived high school, and stayed on the right track throughout my preteen years andthroughout my teenage years, I’m going to continue going strong now. Your expectations for me are very low it seems like. You expect me to fail and get myself into trouble.

Not to mention those people always stuckup my ass. It’s called personal space, if I don’t answer the phone the first time, what makes you think calling me back two minutes later is going to help you any? There are times I don’t want to hangout with people, don’t take that offensively, it’s just..you’re bugging the fuck out of me lately, and well I you need to back up.

You are a boy child
Prone to not listening
You did what you want
Now your chin is disturbing

Taking out the stitches
What a dumb thing to do
You’ll get nothing but itches
Take out the last two 

What a dumbass
Of course your chin will hurt
You’re not a doctor
Go play in the dirt 

Next time listen to your girlfriend
She has your best interest at heart
Next time you don’t comprehend
I’ll stab you in the eye with a dart  

A falling star fell from your heart and
landed in my eyes
I screamed aloud, as it tore through
them, and now it’s left me blind

The stars, the moon, they have all
been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I’m always in
this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

….the more people start to bring you up.  

Person 11:55 am
hey so can i ask u something
dont get bothered
Me: 11:55 am
Sure ask away
Person 11:55 am
but when u were “with” 
(insert asshole’s name here)

Damn straight. You lead me on and
I get attached that’s all on you man. 
So I am not the creepy one, I was just someone that was led on and
hopeful.  

This guy was talented in so many different ways. And if he were to dance off with people now he’d kick some major butt. He could dance by himself, and he could easily get the women to melt in his arms when he danced with the ladies. If I had dance lessons from him my life would be made. If only I were from that time period, when things were still full of modesty and true talent.

I can just imagine myself dancing with him. Dancing in the streets causing the greatest musical scenes that could ever be created. Or after having a really good day just busting a quick tap dance routine. I could pull a Gene Kelly if I wanted to. Bust out the ol’ umbrella while dancing  on the streetlights. If only if only