It’s tough not being true to who you are when it comes to liking somebody. It’s also a rarity finding a person you can be your true self around. Over the past few guys I have stumbled upon, my naive mind has always thought “oh wow, this guy is wonderful.” when he was a complete as* of hole, and the lyrics “this little light will go away if I won’t be real.” is absolutely true. With past men, I slowly was changing to fit them, and the light that made me who I was, was slowly fading away. I have found someone that I can truly be myself around, and although I don’t know which direction we are going, I consider myself lucky. If things work out then he’s absolutely mine, and if it doesn’t, I have found a really great friend. So it’s a win win situation either way.

What makes this one great is, I can say something and not worry about it being stupid. Past people have literally called me a creep, or a weirdo, he just laughs and calls me silly. And it’s not with too many people you can talk about your poop with. Not saying it’s something people want to talk about, but if you can talk about it without feeling disgusted I take that as a good sign.

I’m not going to lie, when I was younger I had no confidence at all. I was frumpy, shy, an absolute mess. Instead of wanting to change that, I just let it tear me up inside, and it was miserable. I never really realized how much I have changed over the years until I started looking through my pictures from a long while ago. I couldn’t help but be astonished.

(Freshman year in high school)

(Junior year)

(senior year)

It took me throughout high school to actually want to try to make myself feel better about myself. I mean, my confidence was so low, that I wouldn’t even bother trying on dresses, because I thought I’d look awful. And now in my freshman year of college I am making the effort. I don’t know why it took me so long to want to make a change, but I know I’m better than settling for the least I can get.

So for all those without confidence, you’re beautiful! Don’t let your lack of confidence eat you up on the inside, because you’re all better than that :]

 
(Present)

Jodie:  Hes like YEAH DATE I’LL BUY YOU THIS I’LL BUY YOU THAT I’LL MAKE YOU THIS FOR DINNER ONE TIME I’LL MAKE YOU MY FAMOUS MEATLOAD。

Me: By meatloaf, he’s talkign about his dick

Jodie: No

Me: XD I know

Jodie: xDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

     I used to be a major skeptic on internet relationships. I thought they were for people who had no life and wanted to live a fantasy life to escape their reality. But after really thinking about it, and having witnessed several online relationships work out surprisingly well, I’m all for them. I myself have never been in an online relationship, would I ever? It’s possible, but who can say.

     Of course, I’m not promoting online relationships to just anyone. I think there should be rules to go along with the world of internet dating.

Rule #1
You have to have  a webcam or a digital camera.
- This is of course serves for one soul purpose. So you can prove that you are actually the girl or boy you say you are. I mean, you could easily be a creepy man living in his mother’s basement looking for some sort of  pathetic entertainment trying to pretend to be an eighteen year old girl looking for “a meaningful relationship”.

Rule #2
You have to have dedication and understanding.
-Are you willing to give this person your time? Whether this be spending some time online talking to them, taking time to write them an email, or talking to them on the phone, and etc. Since there is most likely some distance between the two of you, are you willing to be committed to them even though you might not get to see them as often as you would like? And if not that, have the understanding or option of having an open relationship until reunited permanently? 

Rule #3
You have to be willing to put in effort.
-Although this isn’t like your ordinary, living in the same city, I get to see my girl all the time relationship it’s still a relationship. Are you willing to go that extra mile to make your significant other still feel special, even though there is a distance?

Rule #4
Traveling
-Of course this is one of the most important rules, are you willing to travel to see your love interest? You can’t expect to have a working relationship without visiting them whenever you can. You also can’t expect the other person to do all of the traveling, if so you are sadly mistaken.

     So this has been my first official week of going to a university. Completely different than my high school environment, I am slowly but surely getting used to the freedoms I have as a college freshman. Of course at the same time, I am overcome with more responsibility of not only juggling my studies and school work, but also with the stress that comes with my very first job.
     I’m still completely new to the juggling and the balancing out of my free time and my serious get down to business study and work time…especially since there is a lack of the free part. I mean, how does one make free time when they take sixteen hours of school, work fifteen to eighteen hours, and go to school everyday. Plus, with work, I can’t look forward to the weekends anymore. Oh how difficult this new world is. I’m not sure if I’m looking forward to this new life, but I surely welcome the experiences it brings.