So who else is ready for Black Swan tomorrow? I sure am!

For the past week or so I have had the flu. This wasn’t just any illness, it was the most irritable sickness ever. You know what I mean. The type of flu where your nose won’t stop running causing you to rub your nose raw, or having some type of herpes looking chapness on your lips…talk about disgusting.

My lips have been getting worse, and worse so the only solution I really have is to look up remedies. So one that has been slightly working so far is the one below:

•Put some honey on your lips let it dry for a few seconds.
•Without moving your lips, apply some Vaseline on top of the lips.
•Leave the honey and Vaseline on your lips for 10-15 minutes.
•Finally, dip a Q-tip dip in hot water and use it to remove the honey and Vaseline in two strokes.
•Do this once a day for about 2-5 days to get rid of chapped lips.
(found on http://www.homeremediesweb.com/chapped_lips_home_remedy.php)

It’s strange, just last week I thought I wasn’t going to survive life. I just wanted to fall off the face of the planet. Then in just one day, everything seemed brighter..and I have no reason as to why.

I got to hangout with my new friend Shuang yesterday, and it was one of the greatest times I’ve had in a long while. I didn’t have to listen to somebody’s problems, it was just fun in general. We had our laughs, and talked about everything. It was so incredibly fun and stress free, I forgot that I was even unhappy to begin with. I have finally found a friend I can be myself around without worrying about feeling stupid, or ignorant, or even being ridiculed. The fun is genuine, no talk about vulgar things; just school, life, boys, and etc. Things are finally going the way I want.

She wants to say, everythings gonna turn out the right way.
She believes all of this was meant to be.
A margarita, a little walking. She did a little too much talking,
then she told me about her STD.

Im running away, dont want to stay. Sorry if it seems kinda mean.
But my balls mean so much to me.
You got an STD, girl, no its just not for me, Girl no.
A clean bill of health is all mine-a
I dont want to touch your, Dirty Vagina.

Im gonna lock my door. Never want to see your panties on my floor
Close your legs watch some Star Trek. Just dont forget to take your Valtrex
Im in my Corolla and Im flooring the gas
Cause I think you need a little Neosporin for your ass.
Looks like you sat on Papa Johns Pizza.
Or your bush was attacked by a cheetah.
I know you just wanna be a good lover
But like R.L. Stine you got Goosebumps on your cover.
Your cookie must burning like an Easy-bake Oven.
Cause, Girl, I smell something.

Im running away, dont want to stay. Sorry if it seems kinda mean.
But my balls mean so much to me.
You got an STD, Girl. No its not for me, Girl, no.
A clean bill of health is all mine-a,
I dont wanna smell your, Stinky Vagina.

You tell me it burns when you pee, but you still think you got a clean pussy.
I dont believe it. It cant be true. You gotta find somebody else to screw.
You want sex, I got a better proposal. How bout I stick my penis in a garbage disposal.
Im grabbing my jeans. Hitting the road. Gonna find somewhere else to blow my load.

Dont get me wrong, Girl, I think youre a cool chick.
But I dont want you playing with my hockey stick.
Cause it looks like your crotch caught on fire, and the doctor tried to put it out with a brick. And that makes me nervous, just a little bit.

Im running away, dont wanna stay,
You got more crabs than San Francisco bay.
More cheese than a high school cafeteria tray, on macaroni day.
Now if youre thinking, theres nothing she can do.
Bullshit, Ive got some advice for you.
Trojan, Durex, Comet, Windex
Can of Pledge with the lemony scent. I like that best.
Prescription drugs. A bath tub plug,
Automatic Shower Cleaner with the Scrubbing Bubbles
cause I think we all agree you tub has got a little trouble.
Make it double.

Snow blower, lawn mower., Vietnam flame thrower.
Bubble gum, Shotgun. fuck it. Call a bombing run.
Maybe you can stuff it with some babies breath,
Then it wont smell like you gave birth, to death.
Think that was all thats left, let me checkyup. Hope youre not upset.

If a double decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die. And if a ten-ton truck kills the both of us, to die by your side…well, the pleasure-the privilege is mine.

Whoever you are, we’ll unite soon okay?

Have you ever wanted a perfect day like this? I haven’t had a day such as so yet, but if I ever had one, I’d imagine it to be exactly like this…or maybe I just need to have crazy sex? Hahah just kidding :]

Today I thought was going to be like any other day. I thought I was going to go to school, and hangout with one of my best friends (who we’ll call Tina) afterwards at the mall.

Things were going smoothly, We arrived at the mall right on schedule. I got my small lemonade from Chik-Fil-A and she got her Asian food at a resturant called Bourbon St. Grill. We were having good laughs, eating and conversing, but not even five minutes of us being at the mall she gets a phone call from her grandmother telling us that our friend(let’s just refer to our friend as Tiffany) found her mother dead.

What we had found out was that Tiffany’s mom was taking quite a few medicines at the same time. The doctor had told her on occasion to take these medicines at different times, because if not the medicines would combine to cause a medicine toxicity. Her mother unfortunately didn’t take this doctor’s advice, and had passed out on several occasions before.

As we rushed to leave the mall, we hurried as fast as we could to Tiffany’s mother’s home. Since we were on the other side of town, we weren’t quite sure of how to get there. We sort of just winged it, and took a few wrong turns but made it there in fifteen minutes. During the drive I felt awkward because I don’t exactly know how to act, especially in these situations…and most of the time I just try to lighten up the mood…which is what I did…By doing that I cussed a lot because for some reason people like to hear me cuss (with added wreckless driving and screaming).

We finally got there, I didn’t stay because I felt that Tina and Tiffany needed to be alone. Especially since they’ve been through this before with Tina’s mom. Now, at this moment, I am praying for them and will continue praying until I know that they are okay.

I live my life everyday trying to make those around me happy. I am always constantly trying to be in a let’s shake this world of it’s lethargic attitude, but sometimes it’s tough. To care so much about those around you, and get no appreciation in return. It honestly hurts so much to the point that I don’t know what to do anymore. I am always unhappy, depressed, miserable…yet you would think that those around me would care to notice. They always assume I’m happy, but I’m not. Happiness and positivity are two separate things.

I have always been the one to try and try and try until I couldn’t try any longer. It would be nice to know that maybe one day someone will do the same for me. I could take the easy way out, and do nothing. I could stop caring, stop trying, just stop in general…but that’s not who I am. So this entire life I live is frustrating. All I ask for really is to get even the least bit of appreciation.

I feel like I’m drowning in my own efforts. I’m overwhelmed by the pain of those around me, and the struggles of my own. I’m tired of caring so much. I want to give up.

Since it is the week before finals these are the last few days we will be seeing our professors until next week. As my communications class was leaving, my professor stopped everyone and told us she wanted to tell us something that she would hope that we would keep in our hearts.

“From the very first day of class I have told you that I do not create average speakers or even good speakers; but that I create only the very best, which is what I have done. I not only want you to exceed in what you do in here, but in everything you do. Never settle. Don’t settle for second best. Don’t even go for good or average. Try hard in everything you do, because if you don’t there will always be that person that is even a little bit better than you.”

I have taken these words, and have locked them up inside my heart. I believe everyone should, because who doesn’t deserve the very best?

For those who are in relationships and have the tendency to think negatively about the future. All I have to say is, if you have a good thing going and everything is good right at this moment appreciate it. Don’t let your negativity ruin it because that’s all on you if it ends.

From an episode of Boy Meets World (yes as cheesy as this is) Topanga told Cory “whatever happens in the future, doesn’t affect what happens to us now.” It’s definitely true, and instead of expecting something bad to happen, just enjoy the now. Stop being so negative, suck it up, get over your thoughts, and just go with the flow. Assumptions are wrong half the time, and the assumptions you make are most likely over a misunderstanding.

So enjoy the now and shut the truck up