Hmm, I really need to read the manual. *sigh*

I can’t help but think I’m doing something wrong. It doesn’t seem to be as HD as I had seen on youtube.

Ignore the pedobear, added that in for funsies.

Halloween is right around the corner, and I know that I’m excited. In fact, I’ve been going crazy with thinking of what I’m going to be for Halloween. Especially since this year my budget is rather tight.

I’ve been looking around my house seeing what I could use as a cheapo costume. I found a black and white striped shirt, a pair of black pants, along side my black beret. I brainstormed, and came up with a mime costume. Not too shabby, especially since the face paint used was only 97 cents at Walmart. The rest of the makeup I already had. I just used eyeliner, baby powder to set the face paint, and red lipstick. I put all of that together, and voila, it actually came out pretty cute. If I wanted to spend a little more money to finish off the look though, I could go to Hot Topic (the only place I could think of right off the bat) and buy a pair of $8 black suspenders. So basically my costume cost a little over $9.

A costume that cost me absolutely no money, was my ninja outfit. Thanks to Michelle Phan’s inside out ninja shirt trick, I turned my black shirt into a ninja mask.

(the photo above is not me, but a screenshot of Michelle Phan’s video)

I also browsed the internet, and found two costumes that I thought were funny and cute.

photos found here

I think yes!

And that concludes our blog for today.

Today I had a moment of realization.

Happiness doesn’t come easily, if you want it, you have to work extremely hard for it. This entire time, I’ve done nothing but felt sorry for myself, and making myself feel sad. My life has been nothing but miserable, and I thought it wasn’t my fault. The truth is, it is my fault. Yes, maybe not all of the unfortunate events were caused by myself, but my mindset is all me. It’s time for that to change.

From here on it will only be positive thinking, no more bringing myself down to the dumps. I will hereby do my best to do what makes me happy, while thinking of others. Although, I will no longer forget about myself, or try hard to please other people. No more stressing myself out, just blue skies and sunshine (except for that normal and occasional scattered rain)

If I want to be a teacher, so be it. If I want to be a famous youtube celebrity (not really), so be it. Whatever my heart feels like doing, I will do my best to accomplish it. No more miss sad Kiki, only positive happy one from now on.

Thought I’d learn a new song to spark an interest. Going to be the Jimi Hendrix of ukulele xD

I was reminiscing just a few minutes ago, thinking back on all of my high school memories. It’s hard not to smile when thinking back. All of the goofy things my friends and I did, all of the silly memories. It’s funny, at the time they happened I felt like dying, but now I think they’re hysterical.

One memory that I totally forgot about until now was when I was in biology my sophomore year. My friend Jenny and I had to make a video for this class, something very educational (of course) and something under five minutes. Our partner Jordan wanted to be very creative, and since Jenny was going through this Gothic phase (and I was a follower of this phase) we wanted to make it based on the horror genre.

Well, I chose the movie Scream…I’m sure you can see where this is going. Basically, Jenny and I played two girls studying for a biology test when all of a sudden we get a strange phone call. *DUN DUN DUN!* Surprise surprise, it was a killer wanting to play a little game. If we wanted to live, we had to answer biology questions *gasp*. The film we made was not only terrible, but had the ability to call the chirps of all crickets. Let’s just say it still embarrasses me to this day…and my biology teacher still plays the video every year.

I don’t know who I am, I’m a stranger to myself. I’m not exactly sure what I want out of my life anymore. The goals I once had are now vanished. The ridicule I face everyday makes my goals crumble, the ideas I think of seem almost unachievable, and following my heart near impossible. It’s like I’m stuck in time, every minute feels the same.

My life is so routine I like to escape into this fantasy world in my mind. Sometimes I wonder if it’s something mental, or if it’s just the opposite and it’s my way of not going insane. Whatever it is, it makes living in reality dreadful. I spend hours dreaming up the perfect life, the perfect man, the perfect me. I get so lost in my mind…this world in my head makes me feel alive, like I’m not completely worthless. It makes me feel free.

There are days I can be so emotionless I can’t tell if I’m even a human being. The only true emotion I’ve ever felt was sadness, and strangely enough it comforts me. Those days that I have felt emotionless, I spent time beating myself up and pinning every problem to me. I go out of my way sometimes to feel sadness..just to feel something.

I’m damaged goods, I’ve finally owned up to that.

In Hamburg, Germany a 32 year old woman decided to take the taxi home.

During her ride home, she had a dispute with her taxi driver, accusing him of taking a longer route home so the fair would be higher.

Not being too happy about this accusation, the 57 year old man decided to attack her, punching her in the face and shoving her into the trunk. He just left his taxi there, along with her inside the trunk.

Luckily, this woman had her cellphone and called the police. Unfortunately, she was inside the trunk for five hours until she was freed by people passing by, hearing her screams from the back of the car.

Crazy right?

You can find the story here