May 22, 2012

• That one high school chick

  Did you ever go to school with that one popular girl? She was gifted in either cheerleading or something else that made her irresistible to guys, and you didn’t know why because her nose was always stuck in the air? Oh wait, it was because she was conventionally good looking. Tall, blonde, blue eyes, and that athletic body that made you feel bad about yourself..so bad in fact you couldn’t even bear to look at yourself in the mirror. Probably because she wore body fitting clothes that fit her every curve.

  I’m not even kidding, I was ashamed of my body in high school because of girls like her. I wore my baggy black jackets because you know, black is slimming, and maybe if I wore black jackets I would look just as skinny as her. As you can imagine, this backfired. I looked either like the great pumpkin, except rotten. Don’t worry though! I had an even baggier orange jacket. I wore it….all year…even in 80-90 degree weather in the summer.

  But back to her..

  This girl was something else though. Even if you smiled at her, she would look straight through you as if you weren’t even there. She had popular girl syndrome, basically meaning, you were just a maggot..or worse, non existent. Don’t get me wrong though, not all the popular girls were like that. Some were extremely sweet, and were much more beautiful..most likely because their personality reflected off of their faces. I remember her making fun of my friend a lot. It went from insulting her drawings (which is the last thing you want to do to an aspiring artist), to just being a bitch. It was to the point that if I even said her name, my friend would scream “FUCK YOUUUUU” as if she were around to hear.

  This girl is a world martial arts champion. She went to France when we were in high school because of her talent. She has been in commercials for LG phones doing her martial arts, if you live in NYC you might have seen her ads in time square. She has a video on YouTube with over six million views because of her martial art skills. This girl’s skills in martial arts is so great that she was even a video game character model. She made the movements for Princess Peach in some sports game. She acted in some MTV show as a stunt double, and she was in the newest episode of How I Met Your Mother. She played the girl in the casino that was the cheerleader/pornstar, probably because she was a cheerleader in real life…and is a fitness model. If I sound jealous, it’s because I am. She’s living the life I’ve always wanted.

  I won’t lie, I’m kind of pissed off. It’s just because out of all the girls I went to school with, WHY HER?! I would be proud if it were ANYONE else. I had the delight of putting up with her since 6th grade through high school.

  Well, okay, I guess I’m still proud that someone I went to school from my small city is making it in the big city. I just wish she wasn’t such a good for nothing snob. She has a fan page on Facebook, and when people comment on her things that she went to school with she treats them like the little people. It just irks me.

  By the way, to hint who she is. If you’re a martial arts buff, you should know her boyfriend, Matt Emig. He’s apparently legendary x.x

  • 9:08 am
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