January 17, 2013
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Shut the fu*k up
I kid you not, every morning I get woken up by my parents at 5:30 or 6 in the morning to my parents fighting. They’re either yelling, talking obnoxiously loud, or etc. To make matters worse, it is usually my mom yelling at my dad after a long day of 3rd shift work. She normally likes to criticize him about something stupid the SECOND he walks through the door. This fighting lasts for an hour. I can’t stand it anymore.
On numerous occasions she trash talks me, my dad, or his family for no reason. It’s like as soon as she wakes up she has a personal vendetta to make everyone’s morning or day a steaming pile of shi*. It doesn’t just happen in the morning, but all day. It’s just worse to deal with in the morning because I mean…who wants to start off their day like that?
It happens so often I have permanent frown lines, and this time I looked in the mirror and I have deep wrinkles between my eyebrow from cringing to their yelling…and yes…my mom points those out to me telling me I look old. When I tell her it’s because of her. Yeah..she yells at me more, and then points out that I need to work out because I’m “soft”.
I hate it here, and I need to move out.
I’m so emotionally done anymore. I’m on the borderline of through a mental breakdown. Mentally and emotionally speaking I can’t afford to get a job because when I get depressed and have so much going on I just shut off. I’m like a zombie and simply don’t give a shi* and start skipping classes. I did that last semester because of this and let’s just say because of that I’m doing horribly in school right now. Last semester I was so depressed I would skip classes and just drive to the park and blankly stare out the window for HOURS or cry.
I don’t know how to do this anymore. It’s a tough situation. I wish I could be like those pros who make steady money from their blogs so I wouldn’t have to worry so much. Agh, why does my life have to suck poo through a straw?
Comments (3)
Sorry about your rough morning. And honestly, I wouldn’t how to deal with something like that either. When I was a sophomore in college, I also skipped certain classes simply because I was too depressed and emotional (went through a break up then).
I think that opportunities to just drive to the park, a bookstore, anywhere where you can find piece of mind would help you a lot.
Chin up, keep going strong. The day can only be bad if you let it. You got us here too.
@laytexduckie - I do have you guys
and I’m so thankful for all of you! I try not to let it get to me, some days are just worse than others sometimes x.x
@nihaokeisha – I understand. For me right now (and the past week), I started getting anxiety, and some days were okay, but the others not so much. It stinks, especially when it could be something that can be controlled or fixed pretty promptly.