We had another serious conversation in my Gender Studies class today. This time today, a few people in my class shared their personal stories, and I was amazed at how strong they were that they were able to share such a part of their personal life. I was also horrified and disturbed at how evil mankind can be.
Story #1:
There was this woman in my class who shared with the class that she originated from down south. She was brought up to believe that no matter what, you shouldn’t divorce because it’s simply frowned upon. She got married in the 1980s to her high school sweetheart, and to someone that she has known her entire life. They married when she was eighteen.
She shared that she thought she knew this man, especially since they grew up together. He ended up beating her and their children. She wasn’t the one that divorced him, it was he that divorced her…and it was because he was cheating. She didn’t go much further into their relationship, but I’m assuming that the scumbag simply didn’t want to be with her anymore.
She also shared that her sister was assaulted by her husband. One day, her husband called the police saying he was going to kill his wife. When she came home with her two sons, he was already hiding under their bed with a hunting knife. When she went to tuck them into bed, he came out from underneath, stabbed her 27 times and scalped her. The police never came to help her, even though the man called telling them what he was going to do. By some miracle, she made it outside. Her husband was still inside the house, and he was threatening to kill their children. She screamed for help and nobody helped her. The husband made his way outside, and the one that saved her was the family dog. He jumped through the screen in their screen door and attacked the woman’s husband. Amazingly, she lived. They didn’t get a divorce until ten years later (but they were separated that entire time). He ended up dying from brain cancer.
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Story #2:
The woman in this story told my class that when she was three, her mother and father separated. Two years later, her mom started dating somebody new. One day, when the three of them were together, her mother’s boyfriend bumped into a friend he knew. The friend told her, “you have a great father.” At the age of five she said, “He’s not my dad.” My classmate told us ever since she made that true statement, he hated her. She continued to say that eventually her mother and her new step-dad got married. He constantly verbally abused her, her mother, and her three half siblings. He told her to her face that he was going to kill her. She was thirteen. When he told her that, she called the police. They told her they couldn’t do anything because she was “too young” to call the station for help and that her mother would have to call and confirm that. Her mother never did because she was scared for not only herself, but for her four children.
At the age of sixteen, my classmate moved out of her house. She became independent and took care of herself from then on. During her high school graduation, she said that her graduation present was her mother divorcing her then step-dad.
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Story #3:
A girl in my class told us a brief history of her family background. She said that her grandparents came from India, because of that she had a friend in India. Her friend was set up for an arranged marriage. The friend found out that her husband was cheating on her, and she demanded a divorce from her husband. In this part of India, it is basically forbidden for a woman to show power towards men.
Her husband hated that she requested a divorce, so one night when she was sleeping, he took acid and threw it on her body. One half of her body was disfigured because of it the acid. My classmate said that this happened four or five years ago, and she has had multiple surgeries to try and fix it. She still has many more surgeries to go.
My classmate’s friend is still together with her husband. He built her a hut behind their house. She has to live back there for now on, and the only time she is allowed inside of the main house is when she is taking care of their children.
I heard these three stories today, and I couldn’t help but to think. You can look at a person and think you know them, or you could make assumptions about somebody, but you can never truly know a person. People have dark secrets and horrible situations happen to them and we would never know unless they told us. I hope that the women (or men) out there that are going through dark times can find the strength they need to escape. For the people that have found the light, I hope that one day they can fully recover and find peace within themselves to continue living a happy life.
